Posted in Life or something like it, Recipes, tagged advice, drinking, hangover, party on 04/27/2013| Leave a Comment »
For those of us who are apt to party , here is some morning after advice that I have used on more than one occasion:
Posted in Life or something like it, Relationships, tagged crazy, dating, he's just not that into you, love, single on 04/26/2013| 3 Comments »
So first five days passed, and he was too busy to see me.
I get it, final exams and all, but he is supposed to be moving away within weeks and I want to spend more time with him.
So I did what I most women, who are usually-in-complete-control-of-their-lives-except-when-it-comes-to-men do, I drank a lot and started texting him.
I would like to say, in my own defense, I tried standing on my head, but I was too drunk to stay balanced. It was good, above board really. I sent a note saying I hoped he wasn’t working too hard. He said he was and would like to get away to see me, but couldn’t.
I should have been satisfied, I really, really should have. But I wasn’t. I am a planner, I need to know when. When would he be free. He didn’t know. I said a couple of other things, but largely left it alone. He ended with he would text me when the mess was over.
I went out. It was fun.
At midnight, I sent him a photo of all of us out. If I had to guess that was mistake one. He didn’t respond.
The next morning I sent a text wishing him luck on his exam. He didn’t respond to that either.
Fast forward a week. He still hasn’t responded. I’ve been pretty good. Work is crazy busy. I haven’t been calling my friends to freak out. He said he would text me when it was all over.
Today is the last exam.
My phone has not beeped, rang or pinged – nothing to tell me he’s thought/thinking of me.
I’m trying to reconcile it – you know if one drunk text in six weeks makes you head for the hills then you aren’t the guy for me.
Someone famous, and I really don’t remember who, once said, if the person is still thinking of you while they are drunk, they obviously you are important to them, so stop getting all stressed out receiving drunk texts.
So that.
Posted in Style & Beauty, tagged clothes, distraction, fashion, life, spring on 04/24/2013| Leave a Comment »
As the weather FINALLY warms up, my thoughts are briefly drifting away from hearing from the professional and towards something far more colourful, spring fashion.
According to those people in the world of fashion that know these things – I like to pretend I am one of them, but if you saw what I wore, you might argue that point – say there is a list of clothing that every woman needs.
– a day coat
– an evening coat
– a pair of really high heels
– a black cocktail dress that travels well
– hiking boots/trail shoes
– a cozy sweater and leggings
– a sophisticated handbag
– a wrap dress
– a clutch for evening
I have about 75 per cent of those and I don’t really feel the need for a wrap dress. What I think that list is missing is a great white blouse, a fanatic fitting pair of jeans (darker denim) and a white t-shirt.
The best piece of fashion advice I ever read, I actually picked up from a fictional book – by Helen Fielding, the author behind Bridget Jones Diary – Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination.
She says pick the clothes that make you feel like doing a little dance when you put them on.
I checked back to my list of Rules for Living, it’s already there. Spring is the time for it.
What do you think about fashion advice? Is there something to be said for what magazines/media tell us or do you just do your own thing?
Posted in Life or something like it, Relationships, tagged crazy, dating, friends, life, single on 04/20/2013| Leave a Comment »
A friend of mine made a really good point.
I called her after a great date on Tuesday night with The Professional. I wanted to talk about it, but after telling her how great it was and I how much I’d hoped I would see him again, there wasn’t much to add.
She took my silence, in place of self-deprecating humour about my love life, in stride
“It’s great, when it’s right,” she said.
“I mean when things are going well you don’t have a lot to talk about.”
She’s right. Usually when I date there is drama. How come he’s not calling? What if he doesn’t like me? Why does he like me? etc. etc. etc. Subsequently there is so much to talk about.
This time, it’s pretty basic.
He came over for dinner. I was short on time so I made macaroni and cheese (not from a box) and cut veggie sticks. It was dinner for our 12-year-old selves, which we made adult by drinking beer and discussing the awesomeness of the widget in beer can.
After dinner we played crib – and taught each other card games – while picking at the cake he brought over for dessert.
It sounds boring. But it was truly lovely and easy.
I want to believe it will last, but inevitably something will go horribly wrong (but fingers crossed that this time it’s different all around).
Posted in Relationships, tagged crazy, dating, distraction, life, men, movies, single, smile on 04/15/2013| 4 Comments »
There is that great moment when, on a Friday afternoon, a text/call/email arrives, asking, “any chance I can take you out for dinner tonight?”
It’s followed by a great date.
Which is followed by that distinct sinking feeling that despite your promises to yourself, and despite the fact you know he’s moving away, you feel your ability to just “have fun” rapidly disappear.
*Sigh*
Unlike most men I’ve dated that show up around the time they mentioned, with absolutely no plan. This one, we’ll call him The Professional, had a date in place. We went for dinner, then brought red wine back to my place.
We watched a movie.
It was there, sitting on my not-so-high-quality sofa, his arm across my shoulders, me tucked up against him, that I found myself snuggling in closer, a smile spreading across my face, and a little sigh of satisfaction escaping.
My therapist says that I need to be content with what happens, when it happens and not over-think things. I have put strategies in place to help that from happening. Currently I am focusing on the great date, and the response to my follow-up text message, which said he wanted to see me more.
Of course, I’ve been doing the over-think thing for some time, years really. It’s not so easy to stop. Unless I’m doing something to distract myself – yoga works – specifically a headstand. I find that focusing on not falling over and killing myself far outweighs any other distraction.
Anyway, The Professional is lovely, and I really, I mean actually, truly like him. In fact, me, who talks constantly, actually shuts up to listen to him, and I enjoy it. I’m trying to ignore the fact, that his days in my city are numbered – 12 and that’s the best case. Maybe it will continue after he leaves, we could visit, we could ….
Excuse me, I’m off to stand on my head.
Posted in Life or something like it, Rules for Living, tagged drinking, friends, life, party, single on 04/12/2013| Leave a Comment »
I find single men entertaining at the best of times.
Add alcohol, put a few in the room together with only one single woman, and the entertainment value increases a lot.
Saturday night I was that woman. I was still feeling pretty good after my date, so was happy and having fun, it didn’t take long for one of the guys to wander over and chat me up. He was charming and we were flirting, but he’s definitely not my type. I knew this, but was enjoying the conversation.
Later that night, one of the other guys drunkly slurs, “the girl … I really like you.”
At which the guy I was talking to early chimes in, “no wait, you can’t say that, I really like you too.”
I know it was the alcohol talking, but it was lovely to be the centre of attention like that – I never thought that would be me.
You know that saying when it rains it pours. The same thing must go for men.
When a woman is confident, she genuinely has fun and puts herself out there (whatever that means), I’m learning guys find that attractive.
Posted in Life or something like it, Relationships, tagged dating, men, party, single on 04/08/2013| 1 Comment »
After taking a break from men and, apparently this blog (sorry about that), I’ve decided it’s time to re-enter the dating pool.
Not only have I signed up for one of the oh-so-popular-but-everyone-hates-to-admit-they-use dating website, but I’ve handed over my dating fate to a couple of friends. I mean when you are single everyone has someone that, “you simply have to meet.”
So far, so good.
The other night I was at a party where I met this really great guy. The party moved to the bar, we were dancing, laughing, having a good time. The guy was a close friend of a friend, so I was super comfortable around him. He gave me his number at the end of the night.
Usually I would never text that guy, but this is the new and exciting me, that does things far outside her comfort zone. I text. He texts back. We make a date for the following Friday night.
About halfway through Friday I realize I am nervous, like belly ache, short-of-breath nervous. This dinner marked my first date, with someone who wasn’t already a friend of mine. By the time I got to the restaurant I was almost ready to bail. But, again jumping outside the comfort zone.
I get there he is clearly far more nervous than me, so the point where he is practically shaking. It’s charming and instantly my nervousness disappeared. We had a great dinner, talked lots about family, friends, interests, careers, life.
I’m thinking we are really hitting it off. It’s only 8:30 p.m. So I ask him, “this has been great, what are we doing next.”
“I’m heading out for scotch night, with the guys,” he tells me.
Of course he is.
And I really like him. Here’s hoping scotch night was pre-planned and not the best way to ditch me. Fingers crossed I hear from him again.
If not, I’ll have to tell you about Saturday night’s house party.
Rules for living 