There is a fine line between what is acceptable and what is harassment.
Seeing as historically I’ve always been the odd girl, the so-called ugly duckling, it’s a topic I never have thought much about as there was never much unwanted attention in my life.
Apparently I’ve grown into myself, as I have been receiving a lot more attention of late.
The other day I ran into that caveman I was flirting with a while back, remember him, “Hey baby, why don’t I roll by your place at 10, Friday night.”
We chatted. He was having a rough go of it, so sympathetically I hugged him. I meant it as a friendly hug, but it just kept going. I started to pull away; he pulled me closer and rubbed my back. I just sort of stood there, and after a long 30 seconds he let go and looked at me.
Then he reached down, adjusted his crotch, and said, “Now I have to go walk this off.”
Really?
I sort of laughed at the time, but then, while relating it to friends, later I felt a little gross. I mean I had been flirting with him, so I wasn’t entirely disinterested in him as a partner, and never discouraged his flirting, stares or pickup attempts. If things ever started heading somewhere uncomfortable, I would laugh and walk away.
I feel if there is a line, he crossed it with both feet. I’ve more or less avoided him since then, which I guess makes my response abundantly clear. The feminist in me wishes I said something at the time or maybe even sooner. However, the girl in me that is used to being overlooked didn’t mind the attention.
Even while I’ve given this a lot of thought, I still don’t know how I would handle it again, with him or someone else. It makes me wonder though, why I should have to figure this out, I mean, what happened to class?
What amazes me is the extent many of these cretins “succeed” in their “pursuits”, especially with the “good girls”. (although, in my experience, that whole good/bad thing is no more than arbitrary labels). Perhaps because they are, themselves, “easy”.
I was raised by Wiccans, and learned to treat all females whether Royalty or a prostitute, as ladies. Ofttimes people of either gender behave respectably if treated with respect. Even if they don’t, how I treat others is is a reflection on me– not the person intereracted with.
Yeah, that’s a bit yucky. Still – it’s appreciation, and you’re not going to die of it.