Another wedding dress, another wedding
So I’ve been in a number of wedding parties over the past couple of weeks and I’ve learned a few things.
First of all, it’s likely I will never wear the dress again. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful and I am glad I have an excuse to dress up in it … but the number of formal events I attend that require floor length ball gowns is significantly limited.
If I show up another wedding as a guest with it, people will wonder if I’m the sole bridesmaid that didn’t get the memo as to what I should be wearing.
I’ve already had prom and grad, and another grad and well, they’re just too formal to wear to work.
Something else I’ve realized is while I might suck at being the supportive bridesmaid or maid of honour leading up to the event — I mean I’ve never really been able to channel that perfect gasp of excitement when I’m shown the perfect candle or flower or piece of fabric, or— but, I make up for it the day of.
I’ve done assistant bride thing often enough that I know to carry double sided tape, for the bride, and other bridesmaids, my clutch stuffed with the brides lipstick, blotting papers and a tide-to-go pen, which yes, really can get raspberry coulis out of a white satin dress, and I know when food, fruit and booze are required.
The first is for nourishment, the second for a sweet kick and the final as something to calm down nervous brides or hyperventilating, first-time bridesmaids.
I’ve used double-sided tape to keep straps on shoulder, dresses on chests and to create last minute hemline changes — the last one is a lot harder than it sounds.
I always take my car to these events, I’m not cynical, well maybe a little, but if an escape route is needed, there should be one provided — fortunately I’ve never had to use it. Although, that might cut down on the number of times I’m asked to be a bridesmaid.
At the last rehearsal I attended, the minister said to me, he could tell I’d done this before. He brought up a good point, I should start charging.
A calm, unmarried, bridesmaid with the ability to herd people, even if they are like cats, an ability to get people out on to the dance floor and a smile screwed firmly into place is a good addition to any wedding party, right?
And in the morning, I’ve often been the only bridesmaid (or guest), who is sober and not hung-over enough that I can help clean the hall or help organize a family barbecue or entertain the random family members, who are bored with sitting at their hotel room.
I’ve been a bridesmaid three times in the past year — and attended countless others in the past five — I think that’s enough weddings for me.
The good news is I think I’ve run out of unmarried friends.
The saying goes, ‘three times a bridesmaid, never a bride,” well as long as I don’t have to attend another wedding, I think I’m okay with that — at least for now.
Rules for living 