On being wild – in which I leave unwashed dishes overnight

I’m a wild woman.

As per the instructions of my therapist (in an effort to increase the self love) I was to leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight.

I did! And it was no big thing (ish).

And this morning, I’m skipping my workout (erm, until this afternoon – and that’s mainly so I can do the couple of dishes that I left).

There is no stopping me now! Even though I haven’t quite made it out for my guilt free dessert, I know that will come.

Also this morning – Google gives a shout out to the composer Claude Debussy with Claire du lune, the piece I am currently learning on the piano – that’s a good omen right?

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Learning to be kind to me

Today I went and talked to my counselor, I’ve been getting more and more tired and work is causing me crazy amounts of stress.

Today I learned that there is something that’s harder for me than losing weight, being in shape, being good at my job, finding a relationship. That’s being kind to myself. She helped me to see that I beat myself up over everything. I don’t run far enough (not appreciating the run I actually did), I ate too much peanut butter (instead of just enjoying a food I love), I didn’t get enough finished at work (actually you accomplished way more than anyone expected).

Apparently for over achievers, like myself, cutting ourselves some slack is incredibly difficult. It turns out being an over-achiever perfectionist is actually a bad thing.

I started this blog to learn to be okay with me, and while I am closer to that than ever before, my therapist thinks it’s time for me to start being nicer to myself.

I have two challenges for this week – one is to leave dishes undone in my sink overnight. I’m not doing that today.

The other is to go somewhere, order something I really, actually want to eat and sit down to enjoy it. Not feel guilt about the time I’m taking away from work, or the calories I’m consuming. Just enjoy it and decide I can go back to my regular eating regime the next day.

Wish me luck.

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